Our Ultimate Guide to Writing Modern Wedding Vows

Tips for before, during, and after you write your vows.

Don’t wait until the last minute. Writing your own vows can be intimidating and it can be tempting to put them off. Don’t. The last thing you want is to scramble to write them right before your wedding.

Lean on your Officiant. Connect with your officiant when you’re beginning to write your vows. They should be able to share wedding ceremony script templates and advice as you navigate your ceremony planning. If your officiant is a friend or family member, look up ceremony script templates online.

Get on the same page as your partner. Your vow style and length should complement your partners. We suggest following the same format. A little bit of variation in length and tone is fine, even encouraged. You want your individual personalities to shine through! This is where a ceremony script really comes in handy. If you want to go the extra mile, sit down individually with a family member or close friend a few weeks before the wedding to read your vows to that person.  They can help ensure that you are both sticking to a similar length and style.

Be true to your personality. If you’re funny then be funny.  If you’re sentimental, lean into the emotions, but no matter what, don’t try and force anything!

Practice them out loud. This is important to do with any public speaking and your wedding is certainly no exception. This will help make sure you nail the delivery on the big day.

Print them out and keep them. You poured your heart into these vows. We suggest making the extra effort to print them out or handwrite them on quality paper and keep them as a sweet token to look back on in the years to come. 

Ideas to break out of writers block

Memory lane. Talk about a favorite memory you two share. Or tell the story of the moment you knew you had found “the one”.

Make a promise. You are committing to a life shared with this person. Use this time to promise for better or for worse in your own words.

Tell your partner why you love them.  We suggest writing down 3-5 favorite qualities in your partner and incorporating these into the vows. Tell your partner what made you fall in love with them and/or how they inspire you. 

Incorporate your beliefs and traditions. These can be religious, spiritual, or personal traditions that you have developed over the course of your relationship.

Be honest. This may go without saying, but ensure your vows are honest and sincere. Don’t overthink it, instead let them flow from the heart.